Listed Below Are The Best Funny Whatsapp Status Quotes for 2015
- Some people are too chipper early in the morning, and what they don’t realize is that it’s very bad for their good health…until I am choking them.
- This lame status is not the only one that you’ll be reading this year….so brace yourself for the long haul.
- Hunting is so easy for a vegan because sneaking up on a plant doesn’t take rocket science…
- I get my best workouts done when I’m hiding from boring colleagues at my workplace.
- There are many things that you can say about women, but it takes real talent to turn a compliment into a two hour argument…
- My boss was feeling down and so I decided to cheer him up with a joke … so I showed him my pay slip…
- Honest people can be put into two categories….little kids and drunk persons.
- It’s a good thing that Apple is not in charge of New Year because we would all be waiting for 2015 but instead get 2014S.
- I’m engaged….to become drunk and disorderly while ushering in the new year…
- After thinking about my new year’s resolution, I settled for 1024X768.
- Why was the bull sweating? Because he was in a tight jersey!
- Before ALL CAPS, how did people express their anger?
- Like this status if you are “never drinking alcohol”.
- “I’m not looking forward to the New Year Celebrations….what with all the drinking and merry making” -my liver.
- Being awesome for yet another year is my New Year resolution.
- My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else get on.
- If you catch a homeless couple having sex, is it rude to tell them to “get a room”?
- I’ll forever be indebted to you if you lend me a million bucks.
- My love for you is like a lit candle…if you ever forget me….I’m burning your house down.
- My girlfriend said that I’m too fickle…while wearing her fake hair, fake nails and speaking with her fake accent.
Best Funny Whatsapp Status Quote of 2015
- Whining on Facebook should be declared illegal.
- I took my wife to Honolulu on honeymoon 5 years back… its my marriage anniversary next week and I am going to bring her back now.
- It’s not that I hate anyone; it’s just that I do not like people.
- Let us all put down our cell phones and talk to each other….someone whose phone battery is dead.
- It is better not to post a status update and let people think that you’re dumb, than to post one and remove all doubt.
- It’s funny how couples have a fight and then immediately change their relationship status to “single”. Hey listen, I fight with my parents but you never see me change my status to “orphan”.
- Dear Autocorrect, she’s an amazing woman not an amazon woman, thanks. Now I’m never going to get laid.
- I was going to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.
- This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….I’m just fat.
- I read somewhere that drinking too much is not good for your health….so I stopped reading.
- Think we could get the North Korean Hackers to end “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”?
- Christmas is just like a day at the office….you do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
- It’s a shame that stupidity can’t be converted into a useable source of energy.
- People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio.
- If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn’t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
- Have a prosperous new year….I may need to borrow some money.
- Why is it always “I see you drank all the beer today!” instead of, “Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator.”
- I wouldn’t hire a personal trainer, but I would gladly pay someone to knock unhealthy foods out of my hands.
- If I go missing this holiday season and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at the gym.
- Turns out that At Home DNA Test is not a good baby shower gift.
- A wife is like a hand grenade because if you remove the ring, your home is gone.
- Love your neighbor, but make sure you don’t get caught.
- If I had a dollar for every funny status I read, I’d be rich.
- The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted “Help, I am in an Iranian prison” everyone would be like “ha ha good one”