C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping 🙂
Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀
Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry 🙂
I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 🙂
There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh
Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough 😉
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight 🙂
I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” 🙂
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31
I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 🙂
Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) 🙂
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED 🙂
I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂
Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either 🙂
Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice 🙂
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them 🙂
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.
I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi 🙂
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat 🙂