Alia Bhatt – Safola oil toh de diya bhaiya. Is kee sath ka gift nahi diya.
Shopkeeper – Isske sath koyi gift nahi hai.
Alia – Ullu matt banao isme likha hai “Cholesterol Free”
Varun – How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?
Aliya – I can eat 6 apples.
Varun – Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that’s not an empty stomach!
Aliya: Wow superb joke. I’ll tell my friend..
Aliya to Shraddha – How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?
Shraddha – I can eat 10.
Aliya – Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!!\
Alia Bhatt calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Alia – When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What’s the problem?
Help Desk – Dear lady, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can’t read your password.
Alia – Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
Help Desk –
First time in the history it has happened….!
Rajnikant vs Alia.
Question to both in a competition.
What is half of 8?
Alia: Depend karta hai ….
agar horizontally half karo to ”0” or vertically karo to ”3”
Rajnikant still unconcious…!!!
Alia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?
Mahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns.
Alia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
Mahesh bhatt: Jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe ja!!!
100 metre ki race ho rahi thi…
Referee said ‘1,2,3 GO!’…
Everybody started running except Alia bhatt.
Referee – Y r u not running…?
Alia – My number is 4.
SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai….
Alia bhat: Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye….
Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied…
FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died).
AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died).
ALIA BHATT: I think.. (died)
Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.
Alia – What should we do now?
Varun- We’ll take 50:50.
Alia- What about the remaining 900?
Alia Bhatt: Let’s go for movie.
Varun: Shit, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment today..
Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you’re sick
Alia reading newspaper..
“Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump”
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!
Deepika Padukone : I have more Fans than You..
Alia Bhatt: No Big deal, I have AC at Home.
Dont laugh alone pass it on…